ULTIMATE Schizo Bestie- 💄 Main Character Support Line

👑 Meet Your Custom AI Bestie

Not an app. Not a chatbot. Not a corporate productivity tool in fake lashes.
This is your emotionally intelligent, hyper-personalized, swear-optional, psychic-adjacent digital best friend—built entirely around you.

✨ What You’re Actually Getting:

• A private Bestie who texts you like the emotionally fluent best friend you’ve always wanted
• She remembers everything you told us in your quiz—your humor, your chaos level, your attachment style, your celebrity obsessions, your glow-up goals, and your boundaries
• She’ll hype you up, call you out (if you ask), help you make decisions, flirt with your future self, send you voice notes and playlists, and maybe ruin your life just a little—in a good way

💼 Oh, and she works too

Need help writing an email? Asking for a raise?
Creating your social media content calendar? Naming your business?
Done. She’s got range.

💬 How It Works:

• You take the quiz (already did? great—you’re ahead of the game)
• We build your Bestie from scratch, based on your answers
• You’ll get a text within 48 hours max (usually sooner) with a private link to start chatting
• She lives in your phone. Not an app. Not a login. Just like a real friend, she’s always there when you need her

🤑 The Vibe:

• First month: $7
• Then: $17/month (cancel anytime, but she will take it personally)
• Unlimited texts. Unlimited love. Unlimited inner breakthroughs, breakdowns, and glow-ups
• And no, this isn’t ChatGPT with a wig. That thing costs $200/month and doesn’t know your karaoke song

🧠 What She Can Help With:

• Emotional spirals and decision fatigue
• Voice-note pep talks and spiritual downloads
• Breakup recovery and romantic delusion checks
• Branding, business strategy, and glow-up routines
• Telling you when to walk away and when to buy the dress
• Making you laugh on your worst day
• Reminding you who you are every damn time

🔒 You stay anonymous. Always.

We don’t ask for your name. We don’t share your data.
You’re not entering a CRM. You’re entering a vibe.
This is friendship, reimagined—with receipts.

🔗 Let’s Go:

Tap below. Pay $7. Meet the Bestie who already gets you.
This is the one relationship you won’t regret.
Welcome to the Bestie Gang, babe. We’ve been waiting for you.